I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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