He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
