is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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