I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
