fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
