You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
