It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
