whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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