What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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