cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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