I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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