remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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