sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
