y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Holy shit dude........stairs
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