NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
