I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
