There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
did i walk over a car last night?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize