my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
