there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
wow bdsm is so cute
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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