Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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