Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
do herpes really smell.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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