bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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