I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
