OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize