Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
