Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
