Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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