I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I will pee on everything he values.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
be right there i have to get my cape
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
