Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
