Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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