I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
