I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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