His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
