i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
