So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the day after is always just damage control
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
