and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
