If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
