what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
