return my video game
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
