Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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