she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
why is half of my head shaved?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
