we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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