I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
