he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
