I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
