Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
