We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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