Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
