And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize