I love black thongs
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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