I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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