You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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