The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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