Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
