so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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