Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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