i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Randomize
