i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
