I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
