Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was like eating out sand paper
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize