My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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