I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
